When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice,
you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen: All I ask is that you listen, not talk or do – just hear me.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and get about this business of understanding what’s behind these feelings.
So, please listen and just hear me.
And, if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn and I’ll listen to you.
*Author unknown*
June 7, 2007
May 4, 2007
Ever since I gave birth to M., there was no doubt in my mind my child would hear only one language from me, my mother tongue. And while this enormous task is still underway, I know now I made the right decision.
While the competition I fight against in the form of English being the predominant language in her environment is harsh, I don’t necessarily see this as a bad thing. It will make her or break her, as they say. Evaluating which language to use, she sees the world in ways not many do. She adds a linguistic dimension to everything she does.
It bothers me when I see parents who reside in foreign countries give up a language they natively speak and proceed to deprive their kids of a chance to not only speak a language but also get to know their parents’ culture. No excuse is valid enough in my mind, and the one I hear most often boils down to laziness.
As I see her struggle between two languages, I do sometimes feel I am imposing too much on her. But then again, I speak two languages fluently, and I don’t see how that has been anything but beneficial to me (warning! knowing a second language does not benefit your mental stability 
).
Anyway, here’s an interesting article about bilingualism possibly delaying onset of dementia.
May 2, 2007
A beautiful (hot) day, a beautiful child and a beautiful new swing set
Presenting: our new kitten (one of the three), Cica
May 1, 2007
Interesantan clanak o hrani i psihologiji hrane
May 1, 2007
Obicno se ne zanimam ikonama i smajlicima, ali ovaj sajt mi se posebno dopao. Evo kako ja trenutno izgledam (minus pozadina )
May 1, 2007
Food for thought (and depression, but that’s not the point)
Posted by doublewater78 under Hm...[2] Comments
It is not often that I come across something that makes me ponder over my life and the direction it has taken (and it’s taking) as this excerpt.
Beutifully written by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, it captures the dilemma I sometimes feel overwhelmed by:
Prelude (“Dreams”)
What if it truly doesn’t matter what you do but how you do whatever you do?
How would this change what you choose to do with your life?
What if you could be more present and open-hearted with each person you encounter working as a cashier in the corner store, a parking lot attendant or filing clerk than you could if you were striving to do something you think is more important?
How would this change how you want to spend your precious time on this earth?
What if your contribution to the world and the fulfillment of you own happiness is not dependent upon discovering a better method of prayer or technique of meditation, not dependent upon reading the right book or attending the right seminar, but upon really seeing and deeply appreciating yourself and the world as they are right now?
How would this effect your search for spiritual development?
What if there is no need to change, no need to try and transform yourself into someone who is more compassionate, more present, more loving or wise?
How would this effect all the places in your life where you are endlessly trying to be better?
What if the task is simply to unfold, to become who you already are in your essential nature – gentle, compassionate and capable of living fully and passionately present?
How would this effect how you feel when you wake up in the morning?
What if who you essentially are right now is all that you are ever going to be?
How would this effect how you feel about your future?
What if the essence of who you are and always have been is enough?
How would this effect how you see and feel about your past?
What if the question is not why am I so infrequently the person I really want to be, but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I really am?
How would this change what you think you have to learn?
What if becoming who and what we truly are happens not through striving and trying but by recognizing and receiving the people and places and practices that offer us the warmth of encouragement we need to unfold?
How would this shape the choices you have to make about how to spend today?
What if you knew that the impulse to move in a way that creates beauty in the world will arise from deep within and guide you every time you simply pay attention and wait?
How would this shape your stillness, your movement, your willingness to follow this impulse, to just let go and dance?
May 1, 2007
Pocelo je odbrojavanje.
Zvanicno, imam jos 3 dana do zavrsetka vise skole. Osecaj – nista posebno. Posle 3 godine aktivnog odlaska na casove, beleski, ucenja… ja samo hocu da vidim taj famozni papir. Diploma je manje vise potvrda da mogu, a vrlo dobro znam da nije dovoljna. Ovo je samo pocetak, pretpostavljam, mog skolovanja ovde u Americi. Sledeci cilj – diploma fakulteta. TO je ono sto hocu da vidim okaceno na zid, ovu diplomu vise stavljam u fijoku, za svoj merak
Kako se blizi kraj semestra i kraj vise skole, ne mogu a da se ne setim neceg sto je moja profesorka biologije jednom rekla (jedino pametno sto je ikad rekla ako cemo iskreno): vreme je stvar percepcije. I zaista je tako. Nekongruentnost izmedju onog sto sam bila kao student pre 3 godine i sada kao diplomac je skoro nepostojeca a meni je vreme proletelo. Kao da sam pocela pre nekoliko meseci.
Mame na Roditelj.com forumu koje u isto vreme studiraju znaju o cemu govorim i koliko je napora potrebno da se organizacione vestine dovedu do savrsenstva kako bi se sve obaveze obavile.
Ova diploma je otelotvorenje podnaslova ovog bloga: per aspera ad astra – preko trnja do zvezda
Odoh na ucenje.
May 1, 2007
Malo kaskam za ostatkom sveta i ponovo krecem sa blogom. Nesto mi se ne da da kontinuirano kucam… O cemu je blog? O meni, zivotu u malom gradu na jugu SAD-a, mom potomku M., velikim snovima i jos vecim strahovima… Stalno nesto zapisujem a nikako da sve stavim na jedno mesto, pa eto sanse da ovaj blog mozda pretocim u neku kolekciju mojih ponekad psihoticnih misli. Blog ce biti dvojezican, kao svet u kome zivim
